My Letter to MHF Australia 



I’m wondering what help is there for people with DID? Getting psychologist help is expensive. Getting support when you have DID is near impossible in Australia unless you can find someone who has had experience or is willing to train up. What we really need is a carer or someone who can sit with you at least once a week, for an hour and talk to whom ever needs to talk or play but to get this kind of relief is seen as needing to be from specialist care which just doesn’t exist in Australia. People with physical disabilities can get carers, people with diabetes and cancer get support. But people with D.I.D, suffer a life sentence in secret. You are abused as a child from an early age, this early child abuse is ongoing, life threatening, and continual for what can possibly be your entire childhood into adulthood which triggers the fracturing and dissociating to such an extreme that the DID develops for survival. You then no longer fit into society without huge issues throughout school which you have to hide, memory issues which you have to bluff off, trust issues which you have to push through, life issues that take you to the brink. When the DID becomes to having full awareness either in early adult years to mid adult years you then suffer with enormous issues while trying to work out what the heck is going on? You become aware of the differences in some ways but have huge issues to accept, with diagnosis, if you are lucky enough to have the D.I.D properly recognised. You may not be so lucky and so continue to suffer through misdiagnosis, unsafe people, and not having full control of your abilities to live life in a normal way. You try to seek help but you are shunned away. You have no idea how to express what you need, your mind switching between ages and attitudes within and you may also have different parts which give the impression to others that you are coping fine.
Nobody except the D.I.D community know the reality. The experts can treat the psychological symptoms but thats not rocket science. They dont know the reality. The real need for DID is to allow the different ones inside, the fractured parts, or ‘alters’ to be allowed to talk and/or play, express themselves, the need to be allowed to speak out. But this doesn’t happen and you suffer daily having to hide away from the world. My world is slowly closing down around me. It’s like being trapped inside. If you’ve ever witnessed a paralyzed person get relief from being able to communicate outwardly thru some sort of device then that is what D.I.D is like. Having that release each week with someone responsible and safe is a step forward to bringing those fractured parts acknowledgement and some freedom, it also helps to bring them out of the dark place inside and work together as more of a team which in turn can lead to better, calmer life and maybe also self integration.

DIDers need help, they cant do this alone but in Australia we have to, we suffer in silence, we live in a secret world. Our lives are shattered and difficult. We struggle daily. We have no help.

Mandy Rose

speaker and advocate for the DID community of Australia


What is Dissociative Identity Disorder?

 Well it’s my life! It’s what I know. Having DID is a huge secret. It was until now…

I’ve been in therapy for over ten years, I was looking for friendships and support outside of the sessions so in that time i created an online support network called, “Castle By The Lake”. Hundreds of people joined. Some had DID. I found that very interesting, Multiple Personalities, how can that be, how can you have others living inside you? That seemed very strange. I asked questions but could not always get any answers. This was a strange thing this DID. People talking about having more than one inside. I would picture cloud like ghosts or entities flying around their head and whirling into a cylcone like spin til they flew down and went inside their body, how else did they get in there?? But it wasn’t like that at all. It had nothing to do with ghosts or spirits. Far from it.
As I got to know a few DID members of my new ‘Castle By The Lake’ network which I had originally set up for inner child work, I knew I had some things in common with them. Why inner child? because I had never felt grown up, my body was aging but I wasn’t, life was terrifying and I struggled to be the adult my body told everyone else I was. Sometimes I felt big but most of the time I was little, it was my inner most secret of all secrets. Making a place for ‘the inner child’ felt safe, I could be ‘me’ amongst these people and it would be my secret forever. The members of the ‘Castle’ with DID would talk about things, things like wanting for and never growing out of needing dolls and toys to feel safe and a huge need to feel safe. I found those things were too similar, too personal, they knew some of my secrets, they knew my hidden life, they knew me, these people had never met me, they lived across the ocean in other countries, the USA, Canada, England and later I found out some were from here in Australia. How could they know what I knew about me, how come we had the same things happening on the inside? I became even more curious and very scared but also in a way, comfortable…